I'm not complaining!!!

This Janmashtami was a little eye opener for me. I was having a bad day, and as it happens on all bad days, everything in life seemed to be just falling apart!!! So, as soon as I got to the temple, I started lamenting (in my mind of course!) to God. I started to think about all that was going wrong at the time; Praying to God to help me. I must have spent a good ten minutes in all this. Suddenly, I realized that there was a change at the altar this time. Generally, that particular temple has Gour- Nitai (incarnations of Lords Krishna and Balram) on their main altar. This time, they had the idols of Lord Krishna and Radha. They had taken out the regular idols for abhishek. The Radha Krishna idols were looking so attractive and stunning. I was simply mesmerized by the special Janmashtami decorations. At the same time, I was totally conscience smitten, that I took so long to notice the change; that I was so absorbed in my troubles that I couldn’t even see which God I was talking to. It felt like an indication – as if God is saying, ‘why waste your life on each small trouble? You could instead enjoy the beautiful world I created for you!!’

This small incidence set my thoughts rolling…  

We’re so engrossed in the troubles of our lives, that we stop looking around. We want to have pleasant experiences but we are busy looking for solutions to our mundane life issues. We want peace; we want respite from our difficult, time slotted routine. And in the process, we fail to see what good is already happening in our lives. We forget to enjoy now, in waiting for an end to our troubles.

Now, how did this thinking change me? Naaaah…. It really didn’t!!! I’m still the same old grumpy girl! But, my troubles seem a little lighter now. I am more aware, that though there are hundreds of problems in life, still I have two hundred more reasons to be happy about. And though this does not help me with my problems, it does calm my mind sufficiently to find constructive responses to them.

So far, so good. It’s not long since Janmashtami, so I can’t say I’m a reformed person and all my problems are solved! But I’m trying to complain less, enjoy more; to see a situation in totality rather than only the negative side of it. Let’s see how far the lesson goes!!

A toast to hope

It’s a very age old belief that we should make our actions right. The good results follow. We should not think of results- we should think of our actions. Well… ideally? Maybe it’s true. In my life, whatever I have tried to do with a detached mind, I have got good results for it. But truly, is it possible to detach yourself from EACH and every job you do?

In our workplace, we do expect a good salary in return for our work. For every job well done, we expect someone to appreciate. If it were not so, painters would not sell their paintings, musicians wouldn't work hard on their music. A farmer toils in his fields and expects a good crop. If the harvest is not good, his hard work is all washed away. Why? He could detach himself from his deed, consider himself lucky that he could be a worker for nature and forget about the harvest. Why does he have to wait for his actions to yield? Because, he has to live. To survive on this earth, the farmer has to get a good yield, the painter... The musician- they have to get money in return for their art. In order to live, we need our expectations fulfilled.

So is true in relationships. We put in our efforts and expect something in return – a smiling face, two loving words, some trust and understanding. Is it wrong to do so, if we have expectations in all other aspects of life? I know, ideally in a relationship, you should keep fulfilling your duties with the knowledge that no one will notice. I even heard somewhere, the notion that whatever you do for others, devote that to God. But we are humans, not saints. Human beings are eventually bound to have hopes. Then it’s very difficult to keep on putting efforts with your intentions being doubted every time and your efforts being overlooked.

But, then again, we are humans… and humans need HOPE to survive. And so we continue to hope- that somebody is looking upon us, that our feelings will be taken care of eventually, that even if everything goes wrong, we’ll come out of it stronger and wiser – cheers to HOPE.

Songs of life

I often realize (when I am deep into my thoughts) that there are a few songs which make me nostalgic about various phases of my life and stir an emotion in me. The emotion or the phase need not be related to the lyrics or music of the song.

For instance, the song ‘choli k peechey’ – a controversial & cheeky song- reminds me of my uncle’s wedding. Because the song was extremely popular at that time and as kids we danced our hearts out to this song-of course without caring about the lyrics!

Then, the popular devotional song by Jagjit Singh- Hey Ram reminds me of the most difficult 10 days of my life. After that time, I started hating the song because it always evokes a feeling of helplessness and confusion in me.

The songs of a certain album of Rekha Bhardwaj remind me of the time when I was preparing for my first year exams in college.

Some songs make me feel very happy as they remind me of happy times spent with -my family (like the songs from ‘Parineeta’) and friends (songs from ‘Hum Tum’).

For a long time after my marriage, I could not hum certain songs without getting teary eyed. Those songs reminded me of how my sister & I used to sing for my dad, who has always been the biggest fan of our singing voice.

My dad is one person who loves to get nostalgic with songs. He has a collection of songs related to various moments of his life- right from his romantic times with mom to the times we performed in our college functions. He listens to them EVERY day while going to work. Last when I was home, he used to drop me to my work…. And I too got to hear all those songs. And now, I have associated those songs with a different memory altogether- the half hour drive everyday with my dad!

Finding India in Australia..

Finding India in Australia-though this was not the name I created for my blog (my sister did), but it still set me thinking. Am I really trying to find my own country in a foreign land? I love being in Australia. It is so different from India, so much cleaner, so much safer for girls.... People are warm and friendly (m not saying as opposed to India).... the food here is awesome.... then why should I be finding India in this heavenly place???

But, it's true- somewhere in my subconscious mind, I have been trying....in my own small ways. Whether it is travelling 2 hrs. to find a temple, or creating Indian dishes with Australian spices, or making sure the TV airs Indian channels as well... or celebrating Indian festivals with as much fervour. I HAVE been trying to find my 'home' in a far off place.


And isn't it true for everyone? I guess it's a human tendency. In order to be comfortable in a new place, we need to create a home-like atmosphere.Unless on a vacation, we do like to eat things similar to home food. I don't know how many times I've craved for pani-puri, tikki chaat,bhajias or even the everyday 'adrak wali chai'. Generally, you'll find many kinds of Indian associations outside India-- Bengali society, Gujarati committee... all sorts. Isn't that also a way to find comfort of a familiar language n culture in an unfamiliar environment? I think it is... And I don't think there's anything wrong in it.

To grow in life, you need to come out of your comfort zone.... you need to challenge yourself and face the unknown. But home is where you find strength to face the world. Home is where you can let your hair down. And a merger of both is the best possible association!!

So, though I am not really trying to FIND India in Australia,but I do carry a bit of India in my heart while I savour every moment in Australia.

and dear sister!thanks for christening my blog! :-) I love it :-*